I'm Back

After much consideration, I have decided to not do away with this thing and actually give it another try. So look out world cuz SHEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS BAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!

Ignorant N!ggaz

I am fortunate enough to have a man that appreciates me and my worst not only at my best. But I am unfortunate enough to be "real world" friends or "facebook" friends with some real lames that don't got nothing better to do then to complain about the complexities of women. Seriously fellas GROW UP, stop trying to be PETER PAN and learn the dos and don'ts of the grown up world.

Complaining about why do women want dudes with jobs? dudes with cars? dudes with degrees? dudes with common sense? dudes that understand what MONOgamous means? etc...


Maybe because they got their shit together and don't wanna deal with someone who is physically, mentally, and emotionally beneath them!

3 Angry Bitchesss

So I will be bloggin along with my 2 fellow Angry Bitchesss at http://3angrybitches.blogspot.com whenever we get angry and need to VENT!!! This is a must blog if you like to understand where an angry women is coming from or thinking at the point of anger.

MUAHZZZZ

Something I wrote...

Close your eyes
Perk up your senses
Tell me what you hear...
Can you taste my eagerness on your lips?
Do you feel my hearts pulses through the space separating our bodies?
Do you smell the excitement that is intoxicating our atmosphere?
Can you picture with your minds eye
Our bodies magnitizing together for the very first time?
I've yearned for so long to have you
I've dreamed every possible encounter imaginable
Dreams so exotic and erotic
That as I awake I am flushed and sweaty
Clinging to the last scene
As I stare into the ceiling
Finally the shows about to go down
I'm sensing a standing ovation
Directly followed by an encore
I gently move towards you
You reach out your hand
An alarm sounds somewhere in the distance
You pull me close
Vibration takes over
I open my eyes
Alone once more...
At least until next time I close my eyes...

I have a Twitter

follow me and maybe teach me how to use the damned thing... lol

I am going to DR!!!

So I have always wanted to get away with my girls, sipping pina coladas on the beach, partying like a rock star at night and coming back home to get envious eyes at the banging tan that I got and guess what????????????

Me and my girls are off to the DOMINICAN REPUBLIC... ok ok so I still got like a month and a half before I leave but who the hell cares...

P.S. I will still have this banging ass tan for my Quarter Club inauguration aka my 25th Birthday celebration which is going down on May 15th...

BTW... I don't think DR is ready for us :)

Little Victories

So I have worked out 21 out of 31 days in January and I am super proud of myself. My goal is to fit back into my favorite jeans which makes me think I need to lose a total of about 25 - 30 pounds.

February is here and I am happy that I am still pumped up to work out because I have aimed to lose weight before but often lost motivation within 2 weeks. I just wanted to celebrate my lil victory and keeping on track.

I have also celebrated 2 years without smoking this January! woo hoo!

stupid vs. naive

I have just been thinking about all of my friends endeavors in the relationship world and I feel that most relationships fail when one partner is stupid and one partner is naïve. Please don't hold me to this as some psycho-analytical proven theory, its more like my own opinion.

Couple failed #1.
Stupid and Naïve never really became official but they saw more of each other then any other person they were "dating". Stupid had a very I mean very DEEP DARK SECRET and Naïve knew he was shady but never looked too much into it cuz they weren't official. Result: Truth came to light, shit hit the fan and there is NO WAY they will ever "date" again.

Couple failed # 2.
Stupid asked a lot of questions but never answered them. Naïve never realized that stupid never answered questions. Stupid had a DEEP DARK SECRET, Naïve was too naïve to see that Stupid was being shady and well end result: one secret quickly followed by another came out and well they will never be a couple

Couple failed # 3.

Naïve treated Stupid like they were a precious stone. Stupid was never satisfied. Naïve tried even harder to please Stupid, buying bigger/better/more expensive gifts. Stupid showed Naïve just how unimpressed they were by sleeping with someone else. End result: (just take a wild guess)

So what have I learned? If I ever had to be Stupid or Naïve, I'd rather be stupid! But I thank my lucky stars that I am not in a Stupid vs. Naïve relationship.

Random Fact About Me Pt. 2

I hate feet! I don't like seeing them and I definitely don't like touching them. In the summer time I hate sitting on the train because everyone is wearing flip flops.

Just Venting

So I know that common sense aint so common but damn why do all the idiots of the world have to work with me and/or somehow manage to be around me. I am seriously tired of dealing with people that need to be diagnosed.

Random Facts About Me Pt. 1

I never settle for less than what I deserve when it comes to my personal life. But tend to compromise myself or settle for way less then I deserve when it comes to my professional life. I personally think its because I fear being successful and tend to think of all the added responsibility that would come with being super successful. Lately I've been pondering on this settling thing because one of my friends told me that whenever you settle for less, that you will always end up with less then you expected. And truth be told, that has been proven true in my life twice already.

which group do I really belong to?

I found a group of friends that I really thought I would fit in with and have spent a great deal of time getting to know them. Along the friendship process one not so nice member of the larger circle of this group of friends, decided to send a degrading email to me and ever since then I find myself questioning my belonging to this group and being relunctant to fully throw myself into the group.

Years ago when I began this process of searching for my group of life long friends I began with a group that I shared mutual friends with. At that time I just didn't feel connected to this group so I moved on. But lately I've been around this group and feel connected to them in a way that feels right.

I'm at a crossroads and I really don't know what to do. My mind and my heart say two different things. I can belong to one group and hang out with the other but I can't belong to both groups. I know that I will be successful in either group and will have the life long friendship too. But if that email was never sent to me I would never question which group I belong to. And I just wonder was it fate or destiny coming in to show me that I wasn't make the right choice, or was it a test of faith and personal character that I have yet to fully pass. Or am I just thinking too much?

When it comes to things like this, I think it is better to trust my heart and not my mind. But is that the right way to think?

January 1 2003

How did it get to this point? The point where I pretended to fall asleep and at the sound of your deepest exhale, signaling that you were fast asleep, I crept to your kitchen and grabbed the biggest, sharpest knife from your drawer and tip-toed back down the hall into your room and back into your bed. At this point I glance over at MY daughter, who biologically is OUR daughter, but was never really YOUR daughter and hoped that she would continue to sleep. I then climb onto your body and I wrap my legs over your arms and legs restraining them, making sure I had control over your limbs. I place the knife right at the apple of adam and called out your name...

I wanted to kill you and I could've right there, for having the audacity to put your hands on me. Sadistic actions led you to place me in front of the mirror so I can watch as you wrapped your hands around my neck and choked me til I couldn't breathe. My face began to turn purple as you called me all types of derogatories, and then the baby, she just walked in and my neck was suddenly free.

In your sick mind, you probably thought that you were showing me whose boss as you placed me in front of the looking glass. You were mistaking though because you ignited an anger and passion so strong whose sole purpose was to defeat you. As I watched myself almost die, I vowed that if I survived I would never end up in a situation like that again.

It was New Years Eve/Day 2003 and I was over you. I planned it all out a you climbed on top of me, while the baby was asleep, forcing yourself inside of me. I was so numb by that time that I formulated my plan as I vocalized the programmed sex talk and you just get on pushing without a clue. I was planning to kill you that day, unless the baby awoke. But when real time hit and I had that knife to your throat, I realized you were already dead to me. So I gave you a warning and let you fall back to sleep, I began to pack our things, my daughters and mine and when the sun came up I left with a smile on my face.