I believe that everyone male and female experience domestic violence at least once in their life, even if it ain't directly.
Recently I found out that one of my friends is experiencing this demon right now and I am extremely upset that I can't help her. But I know from experience that only the individual can truly free themselves from the nightmare. Well now I feel angry because this friend is acting as if she didn't call me hysterically crying at 6am in the morning, saying that she just wanted to come home, like I didn't boggle my half asleep brain to think of ways for her to safely get out of her house. I love her and I worry for her. But seriously what the hell can I do now? I knew it would be this way the day after, the denial and almost shame that she must feel for actually calling me for help. She doesn't realize that she NEEDS to get out and that she can call me everyday and I can try and motivate her, even demand of her to leave but she will never leave until she is READY and I just hope she is ready before she is dead.
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- Special K
- I was 16 and Pregnant before MTV made it "cool and socially accepted". This is my life according to me. Everything in this blog will be true but it's my truth. I will not give certain information to protect my daughter. If you have any questions, comments, or concerns please share them.
3 comments:
Welcome to the Blogger World...
Found you through SpanishHarlemMonaLisa :) and you have some interesting topics going here, girl.
But I gotta speak on the DV, having been there and having had some experience on both sides of the fence.
There IS something you can do. You can believe in her wholeheartedly, and you can tell her repeatedly that she needs to get out, and that you will help her make a plan. And you have to tell her over and over that once she is ready to execute that plan, that you will be there every step of the way.
The reason women waver, aside from the dude being charming as all hell when he's not beating your ass or scaring the crap out of you, is because dude (or whoever the abuser is) ALWAYS COMES FOR YOU. ALWAYS. They may let you go for a little while, and just when you think you've gotten away, they come back. And after awhile you think no matter how hard you try you'll never be rid of them so what the hell... you may as well stay. He loves you, afterall. Maybe this time it will be different. Maybe you can just endure. Maybe you can figure out a way to live your life without pissing him off.
When I finally decided to break free, it was because I had a lawyer who told me *exactly* what to do, *exactly* how to do it, and what *exactly* would happen (cuz the thing is, abusive behaviour is a disease, with symptoms and everything. It's almost as if they follow a script). So when I did what she said, and he did what she said he would do, it actually gave me confidence. But it was hard. I was terrified.
And mind you... he never hit me outright. But I was terrified of him.
People don't stay in abusive relationships because they want to.They stay because they're too scared to leave, and if you've ever sat in a precinct or family court and seen these guys you realized you have very valid reasons to be afraid. Cuz the police don't get involved like they should, the courts are over run and certain DV agencies are worse than others... but you wouldn't know the good ones from the bad ones unless someone told you.
So this got kind of long... but let your freind know you'll help her...
Thanks bear maiden, I will definitely take your advice! Thanks for checking me out as well. :)
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